The Truth About Scooby Doo

Bwahahaha this is so hilarious. It’s not mine, but I definetly would have thought the same way if it ever crossed my mind…apart from the Velma and Scooby relationship.

“Everyone remembers the cartoon show Scooby-Doo from their earlychildhood, right? But something you may not remember is what the show was really all about. As I’ve gotten older, it has become more clear to me what Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma, and Scooby were actually doing as they traversed the continent foiling crimes of all sorts in the Mystery Machine.

What We Remember:

Four teenagers and their trusted dog gallop across the country in their purple and green van solving mysteries of all sort–and in the process meet all kinds of interesting people.

The Truth:

Four high-school dropouts and their sentient dog ride around the country in their psychodelic love machine, earning their way by selling drugs. Oh, and they occasionally take some old guys mask off to solve a mystery.

It may be a little hard to swallow, but just take a look at the evidence…

Take Shaggy for example. Not only is he the inspiration for the current ‘grunge’ scene, with his sloppy dress and facial hair, but Shaggy is obviously a ‘burner’, i.e., he smokes marijuana. Why do you think he is constantly hungry? Shaggy can make a six foot hoagie and swallow it whole.

And then there is Scooby himself. While dogs do not generally smoke joints, Scooby gets his ‘high’ from Scooby-Snacks, which are in fact Hash-Brownies. Whenever Scooby, or Shaggy for that matter, eats a Scooby-Snack, they go ape! It just blows their mind and they do whatever they are told, because they are so lit! Scooby is also hungry all the time.

The other characters do not actively take part in the stoner-fest that Shaggy and Scooby do, but they do condone the selling of it because it helps support their jaunts across the country (and the world–they drove to China once). These other characters do have their own peculiarities however..

Fred and Daphne are always splintering off from the group to go ‘solve the case’ by themselves. It’s no real mystery what these two are really doing–they’re getting busy in the back of the Mystery Machine. Daphne with her pretty pink, well, legs and Fred are constantly bumping uglies. Fred is, by the way, pumped up on steroids. One thing that remains a mystery to me though, is why he always wore that stupid scarf around his neck.

And what about Velma? Everyone’s least favorite of the cast, was of course, a lesbian. But, as it turned out in the later episodes, she was also into beastiality. Where do you think Scrappy-Doo came from? Scrappy, who was a dog yet spoke perfect english, was obviously a product of Velma and Scooby.

So the kids spent their teenage years driving around the world, slangin’ dope, shooting steroids, eating hash brownies, and fucking their dog, while all the while looking for the perfect ‘hit’.

If we had only known these things when we watched this cartoon as children…”

This writing was originally found here.

~ by riot on 18 September 2007.

50 Responses to “The Truth About Scooby Doo”

  1. thats a pretty great story but you messed up on the part where it says– where do you think scrappy doo came from– it says where do you thing scrappy-doo came from.. but riot i would like to have a chat on msn if thats ok with you.. pce it

  2. scooby-”doobey” doo helps highlight the dope issue….the scarf was to hide the hickies on fred

  3. i agree…point blank

  4. the scarf thing on fred is from the 60′s he’s a swinger and he wears the scarf to let other swingers know he’s hip, but I disagree with you on the whole steroid issue because fred isn’t overly buff and he doesn’t have any weights in the van and he isn’t angry all the time

  5. RyN you are absolutely right about that. I guess if he was on steroids he should have had some bulgy veins and sweaty forehead :P
    The swinger part is quite interesting, but he seems too in-his-place to swing to me :)

  6. i think shaggy occasionally dropped some lucy also… that velma probably cooked. i always wondered if anyone in the gang was a cokehead or junkie

  7. damn damn damn i cant believe it

  8. This just made me love the greatest cartoon ten times more. Who says being blazed and solving scooby doo mysteries together isnt a sport?

  9. Here’s how this goes. We don’t know why but this group is made up of people that in reality lets face it, wouldn’t really talk to each other. Velma is a nerd, not the right kind of person that would really go around jocks preps and stoners. Daphene is a preppy little bitch, and logically the only one she would really be around is Fred, the jock. Shaggy is a stoner, that takes his doped up dog, Scooby Dooby (obiously a stoner also think about the name people.) with him every where. Velma and Fred started hangin out together and (hey it was the 60′s) they needed a dealer. HELLO SHAGGY!! Shaggy wouldn’t go without his permafried dog. They got dopped up all the time and needed some one to keep there grades up for school so they wouldn’t get the “Man” after them. So they invited Velma (for her brains and the van) Fred tried to impress Daphene by giving it a bad ass paint job. Now Velma didn’t care cause Shaggy was hooking her up with as much pot that she could handle. THE END!!

  10. now scooby “doobie” doo makes sense hahah

  11. What?! That wasn’t a scarf around Fred’s neck? You bet your ascot!

    It was, indeed, an ascot. He probably wore it to conceal the mainline steroid injection sites. Crafty!

  12. Hahahhaahha…..brilliant!

  13. you said velma was a lesbian then in the next sentence you said she banged scooby doo who was a male so i doubt she was a lesbo if that was the case but yeah itsobvious scooby and shaggy were burnouts which is what made the show so cool. fred was a dick.

  14. Excellent site! I wish I would have such mach people who comment on my site!

  15. “Drop some free Micro-Dot Lucy and some Hawaiian Gold on me Shaggy, and I will do your homework, your dog, and for an extra thrill, I’ll even rim your impotent bong issue.” –Velma: 1-800-EAT-KaNu

  16. wow haha now i get why they were always so hungry, and why I always saw smoke floating up from their van! LOL i love this cartoon, this just made it ten times better :P

  17. [...] The Truth About Scooby Doo « Drugs”R”UsDrugs”R”Us. Drugs, people and their resulting interactions… … Whenever Scooby, or Shaggy for that matter, eats a Scooby-Snack, … [...]

  18. i hope u all know tht there was an episod were te van windows were all smokey and all u heard was….. UH UH UH OH YAH DAPHNE THTS TE SPOT LICK IT BABY LICK IT! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YA UH UH UH UH <
    wtf

  19. I still love this show! So who cares?!
    #To be honest

  20. Its always been my thought that Shaggy and Scooby are the product testers. (quality control). Daphne comes from a rich background so I thought she had the startup cash. Now she and Fred are the ones that sell. Velma is the scientific one so I guessed she did the growing and chemistry involved. (LSD). Also, do you remember how when getting a Scooby snack they would hallucinate and float/spin around and generally whig out? I always thought the snacks were acid. Also, the way they always got involved seemed due to their general “paranoia”.

  21. there is one major issue that everyone is overlooking. scooby doo is really the token black guy and they are all tripping on acid. dogs dont talk. so thats the real deal.

  22. it’s just a cartoon. you people have way too much time on your hands

  23. They could very well be stoners, though Velma wasn’t a lesbian, she was just a nerd, and Scrappy Doo wasn’t the product of Velma and Scooby because Scooby was his uncle so therefore could not be his father. They are also passed high school as they started their investigation company.

  24. A number of rumors about “hidden jokes” and “subliminal messages” surround this series: – “Freddy and Daphne go off and have sex when the gang splits up to look for clues. This is why we hardly ever see them actually looking for any clues; we always see Shaggy, Scooby, and Velma by themselves.” Actually, the reason we never see Freddy or Daphne when the gang splits-up is because creators/writers Joe Ruby and Ken Spears found writing for Fred and Daphne (the “straight” characters, in contrast to the more comedic other three characters) boring. Therefore, they would always find an excuse to split the gang up, so that they could focus on writing gags for Shaggy, Scooby, and Velma (who in later episodes found herself “splitting-up” with Fred and Daphne, so that the writers could devote even more screen time to Shaggy and Scooby). – “Velma is a lesbian; she has a crush on Daphne.” Just because Velma’s boyfriend is not a member of the gang like Daphne’s is does not make her a lesbian. Neither does her being paired with Daphne when Freddy goes off on his own to find clues. The writers actually seem to imply in a number of episodes that Velma and Shaggy are seeing each other (they are often paired together at dances and such in the series). – “Shaggy is a pothead/ drug addict. That’s why he has the munchies and he always sees the ghosts (hallucinations) before the others.” and its variant, “Scooby Snacks contain drugs.” The first one may be the only rumor on this list with some truth to it. Shaggy is a “beatnik/hippie”-type character, and beatniks and hippies were known for their “free-thinking” ways, which often included the uses of drugs such as marijuana, LSD, etc. However, not all beatniks and hippies used drugs, and it is very possible, considering this is a Saturday morning television show, that Shaggy was one of those beatniks/hippies that didn’t. The second one is completely false: Scooby Snacks are nothing more than regular doggie treats (it’s not much of a stretch to imagine a guy who’d eat chocolate-covered hot dogs, chocolate-covered corn-on-the-cob, and “liverwurst ala mode” eating doggie treats if you really think about it).

  25. Whoever wrote this I am in love with you

  26. Uhmm, well the reaon why fred wears that scarf is because he’s gay, obviuosly. And he’s only shagging/ flirting with Daphene so no one will find out, even though it’s pretty clear. She is his beard. :)

  27. i completley disagree. As though it may seem that this show is based off of drugs, its not. The producers Hana-Barbara were interviewed in the early to mid 70′s about drug relation to their show, and the denied aligations that drugs were being used in there show. In fact, William Hana was very aginst the idea of drugs and smoking, because he had bad asma. They were just two people with great ideas. They made many shows in there life time that were random and didnt make sense, but thats just the way they were.

  28. You’ve forgotten about one thing with Scooby! They all have to be on psychedelic drugs or they wouldn’t be able to understand him. A talking dog? Totally tripping.

  29. & for the Lord’s sake, this is just for fun people! You don’t have to take it seriously. JEEEEEEEESUS MAN!

  30. :( This is a childrens show and there was an interview where the producers said that drugs had nothing to do with the show. It was made for children SHUT UP!

  31. Your right about shaggy and scooby being stoners because it’s pretty obvious with them,and yeah Fred and Daphne probably giggity-goo’d all over the mystery van but you gotta remember that scrappy doo is Scooby-doo’s nephew so yeah maybe him and Velma experimented but it’s not possible that they made a kid and if you think about it,maybe they were all high,even if they went super high,it had to be enough that they thought that scooby can talk.

  32. The scarf on fred is to display the same message that some gay bars promote, wearing a certain colour means your up for. Doing a certain act ….. You also misssed out the relationship between shaggy and velma …………

  33. The scarf on fred is to display the same message that some gay bars promote, wearing a certain colour means your up for. Doing a certain act ….. You also misssed out the relationship between shaggy and velma, and also there is another drug related problem scooby and shaggy share the intense patanoia as on a lot of episodes scooby and shaggy are jumpy in all places

  34. did anyone ever think that taking lots of pot and acid brings our mind to a much more open state (like when we were a child) maybe this show was ment for kids and we just see it in a different way because we have found a different connection to that way of thinking.

  35. It is a cartoon. Whoever wrote this is dumb.it is not true

  36. You are some dumb assets for thinking this shit…#no life

  37. Get a life. Maybe if you stopped writing things like this maybe you would finally get some pussy

  38. U guys r stupid Velma likes shaggy # scooby snacks for the win

  39. #if you gonna do it scooby doobie do it

  40. What proof do u have that they sell drugs

    • Maxwell, you are a chucklehead. Face it, the entire Mystery gang are stoners, watch the episodes. It’s right in front of you, if you’ll only put down the crack pipe. Nice try at spoiling the fun, you tool.

    • Oh, and by the way, you really need to go back to grammar school.

  41. Reading all that… only a stoner himself/herself could have wrote it… but you have to admit, it’s a pretty cool interpretation regardless of whether true or not.

  42. Wtf ever you are full of it this is a good show and you are just trying to ruin it for people with your made up lies btw your stuff doesn’t check out its fake you made it up try watching all of the episodes

    • Guys its funny wether its true or not so stfu god u idiots annoy me. Whoever wrote this shares my mind lol i thought that since the beginning

    • He’s not lying…it’s the truth. Watch the episodes and see what the characters do. Quit trying to be an intellectual teaching us rocket science and the meaning of right and wrong. Just enjoy the episodes and open your mind.

  43. Im sorry, beastiality??? Please stop.. Do more research before posting online for everyone to see your stupidity. I agree with the fact that shaggy and scooby were stoners but im sure the gang didnt sell weed. Have you seed Fred? He looks wealthy to me, if anything i think his dad finances them.

  44. The scarf is to hide all his hickeys

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